A "No Wire Hangers" Mother's Day

So the day after Ann's grad party, I get in the car and head down to CC. I met up with Mom and Bruce in Port A, where the boat is. Mom keeps telling me that she doesn't really have anything planned for mother's day and since I was just down the previous weekend for her trip to the hospital, it wasn't like I would be neglecting my daughterly duties if I didn't come down for a one-day trip. But I came anyway, mostly because I thought I may get a chance to sail (gotta get ready for the BVI trip), but partly because they have been a little down lately with both illnesses and all. Plus, I wanted to see the family.


On my way down, I called my Gma Chris (dad's mom) and found out that she was in CC with my Aunt Valarie (her daughter) and that my dad was there as well. So, after I visited with my maternal familia I would head over to the paternal side.

When I got to the boat, mom was making mimosas whilst I changed into my beach wear. We sat up top and had a few as Uncle Mark and soon to be Aunt Laura showed up, shortly followed by Gma Becky as she is called by my Uncle's son, since she is now 'of age' to be a grandmother. When I was born she was not--and was thusly called 'mamamma' (I know, so much better, right? Kinda sounds like moomoo).

But that is how it is with my family, we make fun of each other. The more we tear you down the better you'll be right? Just kidding. But we do poke fun. For instance, I am made fun of for my weight and all the weird ass guys I date, Brit is made fun of because she worked at Hooters and can be a bit psycho, mom is made fun of because she had babies too young and is married to an old man, and Uncle Mark is made fun of because he sits when he pees. Now in his defense--he is like 6ft something and aiming into a pot that far down can be cumbersome, I would assume, and am glad that he has found a sanitary way of urinating.

So when Uncle Mark and Laura arrived we set into our usual banter of speaking with one another and someone brought up the old issues again. So, at the appropriate time in the conversation, the time where the joke would be the most funny, I mentioned my Uncle's 'dirty little secret'. Well, I guess it would be his clean secret, but I digress. Out of nowhere, the lioness pounces. Apparently that is a sore subject for Uncle Mark because his wife to be jumped to his defense and over agressively shouts at me "When you get married...You're gonna FUCKING wish that your man pees sitting down". It really was a mommie dearest kinda moment, but I could see she was really passionate about it and the jokes that could have developed out of that moment would have been emmy worthy stuff, but would not help her to feel 'a part of the family'. So I was patient with her and did not continue with the pee pee talk. Hope she gets it soon though, cuz I don't tip toe much.

We followed that up with a cool little happening. A boat was coming into the docks and lost its engine power. It is really hard to dock a boat at a slip without a motor. So mom, Uncle Mark and I race, o.k. walked leisurely, over to the motorless ship's slip and helped them to tie up without too much damage to their boat or the dock.

After we ate, we went shopping. It is funny learning the idiosyncracise of other families. For instance, when I was growing up, I was placed in the center of a flatbed trailer that was decorated in "The Little Mermaid" style, dressed in an Ursula costume and paraded down Ocean Drive in CC waiving at children who hissed and shouted at me because I was the villain of the film, all for fun. Laura's family had her strip down in department stores and try on clothes where they were hung on the racks. Interesting. I was able to try my clothes on without having to wait for the dressing room as a result, and that was a plus because I HATE waiting for dressing rooms. I found a couple of cute cover ups and shirts for the islands on our trip shopping. A good time was had by all, except maybe Uncle Mark who volunteered to be our chauffer and played on his IPOD the whole time.

Once back at the boat, I packed up and headed out. I had another shin dig to go to after all and I wanted to be back in SA at a decent hour. It was so great seeing my Gma Chris, Aunt Valarie, Uncle Eddie, and cousins Trey, Evan, and Mary. It was cool seeing all of Uncle Eddie's family again, too. After the divorce, we don't really go around them as much. No real reason, just don't get around to it.

It is so crazy to see the cousins all grown up. I had moved to SA by the time Mary became old enough to recognize people so I don't have as close a connection with her as I do the boys. Evan is a trip, man. He spent most of the time texting some chicks and he has gotten so tall--and thin! I always thought he'd be a bit chubbie. And then there is my baby boy, Trey. I baby sat for Aunt Valarie a lot when he was a baby. I just see how tall he is, the 5 o'clock shadow, and the crazy myspace page and remember wiping the poop off of his butt. *tear* They grow up so fast don't they?

Over all a great day filled with lots of catching up. It was great to see dad! Hope your M-day was great too!

Ann's Graduation Party

So my coworker and friend, Eileen has a daughter who has just graduated from UTSA. Eileen threw her a graduation party and I was invited. I am in this weird in between where 4 years ago I was graduating UTSA and having a party in which the majority of the people who came to the dinner were my mom's friends and now it is 4 years later and I am the 'mom's friend' who has been invited to celebrate the graduation of someone I barely know or like, but will go to support because of my relationship with the mother.

Luckily for Ann, I am close enough to graduation to know that she will appreciate money for her gift, and far enough away to know not to give her cold hard cash, but a nice gift card to IKEA--a gift that will keep on giving.

All the schilo's from work were there. The food was catered from Papasito's (we just can't seem to get away from that place, I know). Denise's mom was visiting from the valley. Since Denise's dad passed away, Mary's trips to San Antonio have been more frequent and luckily for them we are a close nit group who enjoys hanging out with our respective mothers. LOL.

We had some fun with the cake, as you can tell from the pictures, after we were discussing the differences in the way children and adults eat cake. Scott was saying that when he was young he would forgo silverware and shove the cake into his mouth which is exactly what he did when I double dog dared him that he didn't have the guts to do something like that as a grown up. I will never doubt him again.

Trinity finished off the night singing to the graduate and her table full of giggling college friends. After that, a large amount of alcohol emerged and it came to that time in the evening when the grownup friends invited by the graduates mom to bring monetary donations make their exit and the college kids get crazy.

They will not be able to top mine though, one of my girlfriends threw up in my mom's front yard for all of her 55+ neighbors to see. Wishing you the best year ever...

Has anybody told you you're the youngest person in here?

Alan, a friend from the IT dept at work and his wife, Diane, invited me to the Splendor in the Garden Gala, a very beautiful party held every year at the botanical gardens in SA to raise money for their foundation. I am so thankful that Diane's boss, a lawyer in town, purchased a table even though he would be out of town and that Alan and Diane invited me to go with them when her boss gave her the table to fill. I feel like such an ass that I don't have a photo of them, but they are great people who I will hang out with again so I'll get their pic then.

I bought a new dress and arrived on time to the Gardens even though I had never been there before and was unsure that I would find it on time. I parked and walked to the Gala instead of doing the valet. Even if I wanted to spend the money on valet, I don't think I could. The whole passing tip money along is always awkward to me, even at the car wash. Alan met me at the entrance and we walked through a parade of waitstaff holding trays of drinks and hors d'œuvre on our way to the group he had invited. It was magical.

I was pleased to see that my bud from down the hall at work, Ruthie, was there with her husband. She and I are much closer in age and it made me feel more comfortable to have her there.

Everyone was old and most had dates. Except for the bartenders. Most of them were broke,hot-ass, aspiring actor types who made a mean margarita.

It is the damnedest thing sometimes, life. When I go to the clubs to meet guys, I get tired of competing against 18 years old who have short skirts and tight asses. Now, when I think I am branching out and going where more respectable, mature men will be, I get screwed again. All of them were dating younger women, but they were younger like my mom's age. So these botanical gala type men are the ones who are too respectable to date the really young girls like me, they go with the 30 somethings who are still young, but who are at least as old as their biological children. So I am too old for the guys in the booty bumping club and not old enough for the men in the country club. Will someone pleaazzze explain this to me because it does NOT make any sense.

So there I was with my married friends with a margarita on the rocks and a kick ass dessert! But I looked great in that dress...the bartender told me so ;)

p.s. I couldn't get he red eye outta that one photo so don't email me telling me about it, I already know.

Roasted Vegetable & Sizzling Brown Rice Soup

Mmmm....sounds good right? Well it tasted even better. After the week that I have had, I am ex-haust-ed, but I was so excited that I made something from a recipe...from a cook book.....and it was good...that I just had to tell every all. This is the recipe and could easily feed 6 couples a decent portion. For my vegetarian friends out there, you can substitute the chicken broth for veggie broth and it will come out equally well. Warning: it is a bit spicy and I had to drink it with a glass of milk--I know, too much info.

Ingredients:

6 cups vegetable broth

2 cans (14.5 ox each) diced tomatoes with green chilies

1 medium zucchini

1 medium yellow squash

8 oz asparagus spears, trimmed

2 garlic cloves, pressed

2 tbsp vegetable oil, divided

2 pouches (8.8 oz each) cooked brown rice

Directions:

1. Bring broth and tomatoes to a boil in covered casserole (4 qt.)

2. Dice zucchini and yellow squash into cubes. Cut asparagus into 1-in. pieces. Toss vegetables, pressed garlic and 1 tbsp of oil in mixing bowl (6 qt.). Arrange vegetables in a single layer over large sheet pan. Place pan 2-4 in. from heating element. Broil 4-5 minutes or until crisp.

3. Heat remaining tbsp oil in skillet over medium-high heat 1-3 minutes or until simmering. Separate rice according to package directions. Evenly distribute rice over bottom of skillet; cover with splatter screen--or not, it is much funner that way. Cook without stirring 5-6 minutes or until rice is golden and crisp. Remove skillet from heat; let stand, covered with screen, 1 minute. Remove casserole from heat; add roasted vegetables. To serve, ladle soup into serving bowls; top with rice.

Happy Bday TC!

Way to go TC! You are the most sexy 35 year old I know (even though the waiter announced to the whole restaurant that you were a blossoming 21). You really rock a sombrero! Enjoy the gift card to Ann Taylor.

The whole gang got together at Papasitos for another birthday. There was plenty of fun conversation for all. The funniest was toward the end when we were ordering desserts and the waiter verified our order for two ice cream balls covered by chocolate, nuts, and coconut shavings. He leaned over TC practically peeking into her cleavage and said, "so you would like two balls?" To which she replied "yes, more than anything I would like to balls for my birthday!" The waiter blushed and documented it on his order pad and said under his breath "a pair". TC misheard him and said, "no, I could do without hair on my balls please." The whole group and surrounding tables burst out laughing. Good one TC. I love it when we get to sexually harass waiters. It makes for a fun evening.

Earth Day 09

Ok, I know that Earth Day was 2 wks ago, but bear with me because I am slow at adding pictures to the blog and since I think blogs without pics are boring... I was kinda suckered into helping with the Earth Day landscaping on our campus, but it turned out to be an awesome thing.

I learned how to till, bury edging, plant trees, pick out perennial plants, and haul mulch and compost in a gator. At first I had to dig so that the edging could be laid down. I was jumping on a sharp shooter shovel and fell over onto my ass! I had to laugh to keep from crying because it hurt when the shovel flew out of the ground and into my shin. I still have the bruise. The above pic is me post fall.

After my graceful kiss with the dirt I got a bunch of students to continue the digging and then they placed the lawn edging into the trench that they had dug. We had to do some cutting to get the edging pieces to connect, but after that it was smooth sailing.

I got to get into the gator that the athletics department has and drive around campus. We had a compost and mulch pile in the back of the school that I would have a student help me to load into the back of the gator and then dump back at the front of the school where we were beautifying. Actually, the final product kinda looks like a mess compared to the other side of the front of the school where the principal paid to have it professionally landscaped. But he ran out of money and is very grateful for what we did with the other side. I am very proud of it, mostly it has helped my build my confidence in myself and quelled my fears of buying a house with a yard.

Gardening is very addicting. I felt sore, sunburned, and happy at the end of the day. Sorry there are no final pics, all the ones I have had students in them and those can't be published on the web. Wishing you the best year ever...Mel.

Stonewerks!

So I got a call Saturday afternoon from Denise telling me to meet her and some of our buddies at Stonewerks in the Quarry. Even though my parents were in town visiting I caught up with them and had a blast.

When I got there it was Denise and Danny, Mel and Brian, and their friends Claire and Matt. Luckily the boys sat with the boys and the girls sat with the girls so I didn't feel like such a 7th wheel. I hate going out with couples. Denise said that one of Matt's friends was coming and that I might like him so that was a plus. Unfortunately he had gone golfing with Danny, Brian, and Matt earlier in the day and was so inebriated from the beers combined with the sun that he passed out and didn't show up...winner!

Our waitress sucked. She suggested that we try their melon-ritas because they were fan-tastic. When they finally got to our table they were completely melted and were not melon-ritas, but regular margaritas being sold for $11.50 as 'melon-ritas'...ooooo! how exotic, right? Wrong. So we ordered our trusted jack and cokes and dos equis and began a very fun time. Brit and some of her friends stopped by before going out for the rest of the evening elsewhere. I finally got pictures of me and Denise in which we are not in incriminatingly drunk situations (yes, I just made up that word). Except for the last one that I took of myself. Wishing you the best year ever...Mel!

Why buy the cow...

Over the years my ideas about men and their relationships with women have been defined by the men in my life. Most of them feel the same way as the old adage "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" and it has made me a bit bitter. However, my lovely step dad is my beacon in the night and is the one exception to the rule that I chose to use as the validation that there will one day be a guy who gets me without being told how to.

When I was 17, my parents were divorced and I was living in Alice. My mom moved to Corpus with my little sister and my dad was overseas every other month or so. On one of his trips back, we were spending some quality time one evening. He was making margaritas, his girlfriend was somewhere around the house entertaining the friends of mine from school who would come over since my house was the least supervised, and I was listening to my dad's drunken words of wisdom. We started talking about boys and how retarded they were ;-) and how I didn't really understand them sometimes. He explained that men look at women as if they are buying a car; they want to test drive it before they take it home. And they are going to test drive quite a few before they settle on one so, if I ever needed any condoms, they were in the top draw of the table beside his bed. As you can imagine, I was mortified about the condom comment. My young mind analyzed the information that I had collected so far about men from what society told me (the cow story) and what my dad had told me (the car story) and thought, well, at least some guys are buying.

A lot has happened to me since then, I have had my feminist awakening, etc., etc. and I think that my society's and father's conditioning have made me very uncomfortable with men paying for anything for me. I know that my decision to pay for my own meals or foot the bill for my boyfriend and I to go to Las Vegas will never be adopted by women as a whole or bring down the whole 'paying for sex' system, but at least I have a clear conscience by tipping the scale back the other way just a little. (I do realize the contradiction in the previous statement and I do try to achieve equality in my relationships for the most part.) What angers me is that men create parables like the one my dad taught to me and teach their daughters to buy into the bartering system and then get pissed off when they have to pay for everything. My dad does it every time he hooks up with a new chick and after about 2 months (during which time he has moved her into his home, bought her a cell phone, and encouraged her to stop working) accuses her of being a gold digger and drops her like a stinky diaper. I even have friends who bitch about this same thing without realizing the possibility that not all women want them to pay for everything, especially if the women are going to be expected to put out.

And that brings me to the latest profound words of wisdom given to me by a guy in my life. Me and a couple of friends were commenting on the games that men and women play with each other. I was trying to sum up how women look at relationships and was having a hard time doing it since I am not like all women and therefore can not speak for them, but my friend really nailed guys (and I begrudgingly admit, a lot of girls too) on the head. He said that "women want their men to change and men want their women to never change. I have to tell you that I was dumbfounded and impressed with this comment at the same time.

I embrace change for the most part. I am frightened by it and drag my feet through it, but go through change nevertheless. I think that changing is done in small ways everyday until all of those little changes create a big change. I think that is how most couples grow apart, they wake up one day and--even though my friend wouldn't admit it--realize they have both changed and in opposite directions. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that we are living longer than we use to. We use to be dead by the age of 30 and hadn't really gotten the chance to really annoy each other yet.

So, what is the solution? I don't know, maybe get married later in life. Or, make sure that the person you are with is really on board with your life plan--don't be blinded by passion. I am not saying 'don't have passion', by all means have it in spades, just don't let it romanticize the person you are with. Or, don't get married at all. One of my very best friends just celebrated her 10 year anniversary with her male life-partner. (I thought I should specify that it was a heterosexual relationship since many homosexuals refer to their lovers as life-partners.) But then how do you know that the person you are with will stay with you? Well, you just have to trust in the love and that is probably why we humans created law in the first place. A way to make people do what we want...kinda like religion. And weren't men the ones who came up with law in the first place? I knew it! They have been trying to make us stay the same with legalities all of this time. HaHa. Wishing you the best year ever...Mel.